Tendance Coatesy

Left Socialist Blog

How to be Topp of the Left.

with 3 comments

Curse of St Cricklewood's

The Curse of St Cricklewood’s: ‘GD’.

Russell Brand is said to be about to join Left Unity, the party that’s set to be the new Podemos. The New Year’s Day merger of Socialist Worker with the Big Issue will establish a serious rival to the right-wing press. The success of Marxist World Faction, fighting the CWI’s backsliding on the falling rate of profit, shows that Marxist politics remain at the heart of the mass workers’ movement.

Britain’s left is on the threshold of enjoying a golden age.

But it is inside the Labour Representation Committee (LRC) that radical socialism has taking spectacular step forward after spectacular step forward.

What they’re calling the ‘Cricklewood miracle’, the daily meetings of the Brent and Harrow Revolutionary Proletariat, has inspired millions, from High Barnet, to Neasden. 2015 promises to be a bumper year for these class warriors.

In exclusive extracts from the forthcoming ‘How to be Topp: Down with Everythink!” to be published in the Weekly Worker we show some of the remarkable story of the man they couldn’t silence. Born in a tin bath on the mean streets of the Mill Hill banlieue, then leader of the Donbas Soviet and the Residents’ Association of Bishop’s Avenue, it’s a remarkable tale of political courage and foresight. GD, as his cadres call him, has a unique message for the left.

As cde Keable says, “Some leading comrades still behave as if socialist politics are about secret, behind-closed-doors decisions by those who know best, but we will publish GD and let the heavens fall!”

From How to be Topp.

“You kno who this is, e.g. Me, GD, the Curse of St Cicklewood’s. I kan only giv a sec becos they hav got me on the run – the LRC in Britain are after me with their Coshes etc. I know what it means when they catch up, aktually they seldom do, as they cannot run for tooffe.

There is just time to give my felow suferers the fruits of my xperience. You could become Topp of the Left if you want but most activists do not. They let the rite-wing run things. They let the Labor loot-tenants of Kapital kep the Workrs down.”

A few snaps from my Album.

Chair of Right-Wing LRC.

Meeting of Brent and Harrow LRC.

Recent Strike at Friern Barnet Docks.

Historikal Materialism.

“History started badly and hav been getting steadily worse.”

“It began with a lot of capitalists who oppressed and killed everbode. Then they became respactable and took over the Labor Party, the LRC and Labor Breefing – chiz.”

“The Workrs, who are noble, brave, fearless, Jerry Hicks, etc, although you hav various trators, toadys, krawlers, greedy guts, chavs and oiks, stodges of Ukrainian imperialism, John McDonnell, labor misleadrs, Len McCluskey, and the rite-wing of the LRC and the TUC, and.” (Continues: Pages 97 to 343).

The Programm.

“The world political situation as a whole is chiefly characterised by a historical krisis of the leadership of the prolytariat.

“The objective konditions for the revolution are so ripe the leaders of the LRC are somewhat rotten.”

“The historical krisis of mankind is reduced to the krisis of the revolutionary leadership, can be resolved only by the Brent and Harrow Proletariat.”


3 Responses

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  1. Hahaha. Very good, you swot.


    December 23, 2014 at 3:00 pm

  2. Comrade molesworth, gorila of LRC and curse of st mandelards, is a brittish revolutiory from the 1950s whose poor speling do not hold him back from rekording his GRATE THORTS about socity, life, foopball, grown-ups, GURLS, interplanetry travel ect ect chiz chiz. It could be described as Diary of a Wimpy Kid crossed with Neds Declassified, but set in (slightly shabby, fading) Fifties Britain. (mouldy chizz thoze ones came aftur…)
    His jaded and world-weary comentary hav been fathefully transcribed by Geoffrey Willans and georgously ilustrated by Ronald Searle of St. Trinian’s fame in four volumes (pub. grabber and grabber): Down with Skool!, How to be Topp, Whizz for Atomms and Back in the Jug Agane.
    felow-inmates inklude:
    • peason, nigel’s grate freind
    • milibrand, whose pater was a general
    • russellbrand m.a. head of skool captain of everything winner of the mrs joyful prize for rafia work and Miles Gloriosus-in-traning
    • owen-jones, wet and weed who sa Hullo clouds, hullo sky
    • wee bro osler2
    There are also the labor party and union masters aka beaks viz. headmaster MCLUSKY, miliband the mad labor master ect, and of coarse the skool dog, brand .
    The golden prose hem-hem of our hero hav been enjoyed by generations of tiny pupils and often continue to hold its allure into adulthood. molesworth fans are a rare but rabid breed who rekognise each other by use of sekrit code phrases such as ‘cheers cheers cheers’, ‘poo er gosh’ and ‘as any fule kno’. molesworth’s influence on a generation or 2 of British humorists was surely immense if subtle but he would be too much the realist expect any credit.

    Jim Denham

    December 24, 2014 at 6:06 am

  3. Good one Jim.

    As the introduction by Philip Hensher to the Penguin Modern Classics edition I have says, lots of us didn’t even notice it was about public schools and thought of our own state ones.

    Andrew Coates

    December 24, 2014 at 11:21 am

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