Tendance Coatesy

Left Socialist Blog

Charlie Kimber, SWP and Bears – a Cautionary Tale.

with 5 comments

Happier Days for ‘Red’ Charlie Kimber. 


How a respectable public schoolboy fell amongst reds and came to a horrible end.


“Young Charlie Kimber was a real hard red,

He even read Das Kapital in bed,

At Eton, where he studied hard,

The scholars thought him quite a card.


When Kimber, he was twenty-three,

His daddy bought him S.W.P.

His comrade, the honorable Alex,

Was both his helpmate and his bollix.


Charlie stopped the  port and vintage wine,

and going out to restaurants to dine.

Just mushy-peas and Mars-bars fried,

no more tomatoes ripe sun-dried.


He dropped his ‘aitches one by one,

And shouted when the Gunners won.

He drank white cider by the bucket,

And stacked his tinnies on the buffet.


One day their paper made a joke,

A first – against a younger Eton bloke.

A Bear and death, were cause for fun,

And a very  laboured pun.


Dukes and Lords, they cut him out

The papers loathed the filthy lout,

Kimber, he was full of glee,

He kept right on his prolo spree.


One day he journeyed to the Zoo,

It was a conservationist do.

He drank Jack Frost till he was tight,

And then he sailed off to the night.


Pausing by a large black cage,

A Polar bear in hopeless rage.

A paw reached out, and struck him dead.

That was the end of Charlie Red.



It is the duty of the wealthy man,

Not to ape the artisan.


 Polar Bear in London Zoo: not unlike the one that thumped Charlie Kimber.

Below: Socialist Worker. See The Independent.






Written by Andrew Coates

July 12, 2014 at 11:08 am

5 Responses

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  1. Good poem, Andrew. Nearly as funny as the original. What a dreadful way to die for anyone. And, so avoidable.

    Sue R

    July 12, 2014 at 8:24 pm

  2. louisproyect

    July 12, 2014 at 8:28 pm

  3. Yeah, and your hero is Christopher Hitchens, remind me where he was educated again if we are playing that game?

    As for Louis Proyect, is his journey to fully blown drone supporting leftist now complete? Does he now share the pro Israeli bias of this blog?

    Socialism In One Bedroom

    July 13, 2014 at 11:49 am

  4. Beddy had a little Bear,
    to which he was so kind,
    And everywhere that Beddy went,
    you saw his bare behind.

    Andrew Coates

    July 13, 2014 at 3:51 pm

  5. Beddy+ wanker

    Jim Denham

    July 20, 2014 at 10:36 pm

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